"I have to be able to trust you."

My daughters were practicing a dance they made up. They were practicing a complicated turn thing that also had a lot of laughing involved. And I overheard my oldest say to her sister, “I have to be able to trust you.”

I was at the other side of the kitchen and the words struck me as so true.

You have to trust your partner. Your team mates. Trust they will do the work, hold up their end, make decisions consistent with the team goals and brand. The inability to trust diminishes the team's ability to thrive. This concept has been at the heart of every team I’ve lead or been a part of.

If there is a member on the team that can’t be trusted, for what ever reason, then the entire team is weakened. I’ve seen one untrusted person go unchecked and breed distrust and anger in an entire team. It takes a strong leader to course correct that kind of situation.

I started analyzing (as I do) the context in which my daughter said this little gem. She was stating it to encourage her sister to practice the move with her. To “take it seriously.”

So, practice builds trust. My background as a Stage Manager has proved that to me time and time again. After all, that’s just what rehearsals are for. A chance for the team to build trust. To practice and build trust.

If Life was a Dream and this was my dream…

You have to practice to build trust. Practice takes time. It takes effort. It takes showing up and doing the work.

So…show up. Do the work. Make the effort. Build trust. Because as my daughter pointed out, I have to be able to trust you in order for our dance to work.

The Car Accident: Attitude is the Difference

The difference between a wildly dramatic situation and just a sucky situation is all attitude. 

This morning I was in a car accident on the freeway. Three cars were involved and I was the middle one. Lucky me. Everyone walked away, and at least two of the three cars drove away- not sure about the car in the back of the pile up. 

There we were three shaken people who were just in an accident. That's just what it was, an accident. No one maliciously ran into anyone else. We were from three very different backgrounds all pulled over to the side of the freeway. As calmly as we could, only because we were all literally shaking, we exchanged information and decided to call the CHP to file a report right there. Mostly out of concern that the back car wasn't going to be able to drive away. 

No one raised their voices. The first thing we all did was check in with each other's physical beings. "Is everyone okay?" Which of course actually means "does any one need paramedics?" Then we all went about figuring out what information to exchange. And most of all we were kind to each other. Even the CHP officer that responded was kind. 

We were all different ethnicities, different ages, going to different places but at the core we were all just three humans that were involved in a shocking and "yucky" experience. We chose to be grateful. We focused on the fact that no one was "ambulance hurt," that we were all single riders, and no kids were involved. We didn't focus on the material objects. Yeah, there was plenty of damage between the three cars but fretting, crying, or screaming on the side of the freeway wasn't going to change that fact. We chose our attitude and thus our response. 

As a result the situation remained at a simple "sucky" status instead of escalating into a dramatic situation. 

If Life was a Dream...

In my dream, this is a reminder that we can still connect as human beings. That we are able, even in traumatic situations to choose our attitude. We can still choose to be kind to one another. If I had to guess, I'd surmise that both the strangers I met today practice choosing their attitude about life's situations. It takes practice to choose to be grateful, to choose to focus on the tasks at hand and not to spin out into a rabbit hole of "what if's." 

Be intentional about choosing your attitude toward every situation you face. Keep practicing.