My Dad, a Song, and Rapunzel

I was thinking about my Dad this week, probably because Father's day just past. 

I have this memory from my childhood, I was maybe 9 or 10. My Dad was explaining what the Trail of Tears was. He wrote a song about it and he was sharing the history with me so I could understand the meaning of the song. In a nutshell 100,000 Native Americans from 5 different tribes were forced by the US government to travel 1000 miles to Oklahoma in the 1830's. Thousands upon thousands died. He was deeply moved by the history of the Trail of Tears. The huge loss of life and the trials they endured resonated with him for some reason. Even now I remember that. Maybe writing music was one of the things my Dad did to cope with his time in Vietnam, maybe it pre-existed his time at war. I'm not entirely sure, he died before we got to that part in his story.  

What relationship I was able to have with my Dad, was entirely because of my mom. My mom and dad were divorced when I was very young, but she decided early on that her children were not something to use to manipulate or inflict pain on their dad.  A few months ago I was walking through a parking lot and had to pass a young couple that were fighting in front of their small child. It was clear it was a relationship that hadn't worked out. It was also clear to me in that moment that they were using the child to inflict pain on each other. My mom never did that. I have great respect for her for being able to rise above her own hurt feelings. 

Children are not pawns in a grown-ups game. 

Adults understand that you don't use the love of a child or the withholding of that love to punish the other person. Children need their loving parents. 

I have two children of my own now. They aren't old enough to talk about the Trail of Tears just yet. Right now we watch a lot of kid movies. Do you know, I have a really hard time watching the Disney Movie Tangled because in the opening scenes Mother Gothel takes the baby Princess away from her parents. She rips the tiny child out of her crib just has her parents run into see their child being torn from them. That act horrifies me. I can't imagine how the King and Queen went on having hope while an evil selfish monster raised their daughter in a tower prison. 

Only villains take children from their loving parents. 

I spend at least 20 minutes of the movie trying not to fall down the dark hole of what it would feel like to have one of my babies stolen from me. And then somewhere around the song "I've Got a Dream," I make my way out of the hole to laugh at the silliness again. 

So If Life was a Dream... 

You know, I think this time, I'll let you interpret the symbols for yourself.