I used to read my kids a book about a farmer whose animals are serious because he is serious. They get tired of being serious and decide to try to make the farmer laugh. When they fail, they leave. The story ends with the farmer finding the animals and telling them that leaving is no way to deal with problems. He laughs a tiny bit and the animals decide to come home. Everyone lives happily ever after as you would expect in a children’s book. 

But when you are a leader, if your team leaves- you’re in trouble. Life is not a children’s book.  

Many of my past teams have heard me say it before, “We set the tone.” As leaders we set the tone for our team, our cast, those we lead. It’s more than being a role model, our energy affects others. 

Have you ever been in a room when someone walks in and you know immediately they’re having a bad day. You can feel their grumpy energy as they blast it around the room like they are a Marvel character? Soon the whole mood of the room changes.  

One way our energy affects others is how we express what we are passionate about. For some they get passionate about the spilled coffee and a ruined report. But with some intentionality, you can use that same effect to help people connect and change behavior in a positive way. 

The Sandbag

A few years ago I was walking through my area at work and saw a sand bag out of place. Normally I would’ve continued on without another thought. But... a colleague and friend had just shared with me how important it was to him to have the sandbags in the right place. So now... it was important to me. Because he took the time to share why he was passionate about it, I was able to connect to the purpose of the sandbags. I wasn’t passionate about it, but his residual energy spurred me into action. 

We care about what we are connected to. The connection gives us a purpose and can move us to action. Looking to our leaders at work, at home, at school, and in the community are ways to connect to ideas that we may not fully connect to. 

When you work on a team it is important to share what you are passionate about. If the team is assembled right everyone will have a slightly different passion. Done right, that passion will influence the rest of the team and before you know it everyone has a greater connection to the work. 

If life was a dream...

Sand bags are heavy, boring, and tedious to move. They could be the symbol for every mundane office task ever assembled. But they are also extremely helpful when in the right place. 

I took action because I was connected to a "why" that was important to me. In this instance the "why" was that it was important to a friend and that was enough to move me into action until I had my own reason "why." 

We care about what our friends care about. Your passion can influence the rest of your team. Share it. 

If it was my dream… 

This is why it is so critical for leaders to set the tone for inclusion and diversity. We set the tone and can influence behavior, whether we mean to or not. When we speak authentically and dive into the hard conversations it gives others permission to do the same. When we speak out against hate crimes, stop behaviors that exclude and share why it’s important we give the opportunity for our teams to make stronger connections. When we check in with team members, employees, or cast it can give them the energy to check-in with someone else. When we reframe conversations from “I can’t say that anymore” to “what is the root of that phrase and should I still use it?” it gives those around us a tool to do the same. 

 I used to present the not so sexy section on company policy to classrooms full of brand new employees. It was dry and boring stuff, easy to disconnect with. So this is what I said to every group and I connected back to the phrase multiple times, “At the root of everything we do, is striving to create an inclusive environment where everyone feels safe and can bring their best self to work.” 

As a leader I am passionate about that and truly believe if we can strive for that in all the areas we influence, we will always be stronger for it. More now than ever before. 

How will you set the tone?