Many of us are discovering the difference between want and need right now. And it might be confusing if you’ve never had to define your wants vs. your needs (or you haven’t in a long time).

For the last 6 or so years, my family and I picked 1-2 month of the year (not usually consecutive) to engage in a financial diet (okay I picked it and made my family participate). 

A Financial Diet is pretty much what you think it is. You restrict how you spend money for a short amount of time in order to create new (hopefully long lasting) habits. 

The rules are simple- for 30 days, only spend money on what you have to. If there is a bill, it gets paid. But other than that if it can wait 30 days or there is another way to accomplish the goal without spending money, then that’s what you do. 

 You cook at home, brew your coffee at home, put off trips to the salon, find free ways to entertain yourself (and the family). But you still take care of the essentials- crucial car maintenance/repair, grocery shopping, medical care, you get the idea.  Any of this feel familiar?

Financial diets taught me, long before the pandemic, that two of my main stress coping mechanisms are shopping and eating. Because it gave me the feeling that I had control over something. But the financial diet taught me to ask, do I NEED this or do I just WANT it so bad it feels like a need (especially when it came to shopping). And during what I call our “force financial diet” back when I was pregnant with our second child and my husband got laid off, I was forced to confront those spending habits with “no cheating.”  

I learned to ask myself (and my family) a series of questions to determine the difference between what we needed and what we wanted. I developed these questions while I was a hormonal stressed mess. So, given the current state of the world I thought I’d share, in hopes they could help some of you. Here they are:

15 Questions to ask yourself to distinguish between a need and a want.

1. Does it have to happen right now? 

2. How long can it wait? 

3. What are the consequences if I wait (physical or emotional)?

4. Are the consequences real or made up?

5. Can I live with the consequences? 

6. What is the cost of getting it right now?

7. What is the cost of waiting?

8. What do I gain if I get it right now? 

9. What do I lose? 

10. Is it important? 

11. Why is it important? 

12. Is the importance a feeling or a fact? 

13. Do I have the willpower to wait (BTW-answering no doesn’t make it a need)? 

14. Can I find the willpower to wait? 

15. Is there another way or another option to accomplish the goal (a.k.a. A cheaper or free option)? 

And one bonus question:

Why?

After each answer to a question (or if you remember nothing else) ask why at least 5 times. Why do I need this? Why? Why? Why? Why? The point is to drill down further each time to get to the root. 

If after answering all those questions you determine that it is a want, but it’s a want that you just don’t have the willpower to wait for, then at least you’ve learned something and you're being honest with yourself. You can use that lesson next time.

If there are any other questions you’ve learned to ask yourself share them in the comments!